


You Keep Me, Wrapped Around Your Finger

by orphan_account



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Anonymity, Break Up, Friendzone, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rejection, Summer, Tumblr Prompt, Unrequited Love, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 17:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5465012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was summer. Yet everything had turned to shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Keep Me, Wrapped Around Your Finger

**Author's Note:**

> For tumblr user @scarletiscool  
> “The way you said ‘I love you’, on a sunny Tuesday afternoon, the late sunlight glowing in your hair”
> 
> Influenced by the song 'B-Team' by Marianas Trench. I recommend that you listen/skim through the lyrics before/after reading this.

“I love you,” Kyoya mumbled, his voice trailing with the sweet feeling in his lungs, the light of the lamppost making Kaoru’s face brighten like an angel. His teeth bit at his bottom lip subtly every couple of seconds, and his eyes flickering from Kaoru’s face to the illuminated lamppost by his side. He was nervous, and it showed.

His heart beat through his chest violently, his fingers frozen with a sense of dread. His mind berating him, screaming over and over you shouldn’t have said that. You shouldn’t have said that. Why on earth did you say that? Are you stupid? Are you stupid?

Kyoya’s breath became uneven, his breath heavier and faster. The short breaths liberating in a way that Kyoya wouldn’t expect. His heart feeling as if a bolder had been lifted off of it. The sense of dread pulled off of him with the flying feeling sweeping through him. The feeling gaining his confidence quickly in a way that made him slightly light-headed. As if he was drunk.

He lifted his head almost robotically, his movements cold and usual. His eyes being the only thing that gave him away. The frantic sway of them swinging to one object to another, avoiding Kaoru completely. The colour of Kyoya’s eyes dark and seemingly filled with negative emotions.

“I’ve met someone,” Kaoru stated, ignoring Kyoya’s statement and moving onto himself. His voice filled with pity that Kyoya despised. The sound lacking the enthusiastic sassy tone. The sound completely bland with pain.

Kyoya’s lips curled into a tiny smile as he realised the easy avoidance of the topic. His shoulders lifting with the sickeningly sweet feeling brushing every part of him. Kaoru knew he wouldn’t want to talk about it. He knew it was hard for him. He knew Kyoya would hate it. He knew Kyoya hated the pity and everything else that came with rejection. So he avoided it, for Kyoya’s benefit. And it made Kyoya’s head spin.

Kaoru needed to talk about it, Kyoya knew that too well. Kaoru was expressive and loud to a selective amount of people, he needed to talk about things. Otherwise he’d bottle it all up, before one day he’d explode. Most probably with a string of insults and/or a stream of tears. That’s why he had Hikaru.

Yet, he kept it in. For Kyoya. He made himself suffer for a couple of hours, just so Kyoya could feel relief for a matter of minutes. Kyoya almost appreciated it too much.

“What’s he like?” Kyoya asked, his voice regaining volume and composure. His mouth still pulled into that stupid smile that he wished would falter.

He shouldn’t be so happy to be ignored. Yet he felt the happiest at this moment, than he had in a while.

He should feel more upset to find that the person he valued the most, had found someone else. Yet he found himself bubbling with happiness for Kaoru. Kaoru was happy. So he was too.

Winter wasn’t as bad as he’d previously thought.

* * *

 

It was summer. Yet everything had turned to shit.

Kyoya’s heart shattered in his chest, the flesh turning into shards of glass and piercing the insides of Kyoya’s skin. His body loomed over the small boy curled up into a ball at the corner of the room. The blast of orange hair burning through his mind. The screeching sobbing ringing through his ears. Kyoya’s mind begging and begging that it was Hikaru. It was Hikaru.

Yet, he recognised that voice. The noise lighter and softer than Hikaru’s, the cries more desperate than Hikaru. Kaoru’s whole presence more discreet than Hikaru’s. He had thought he was alone. He thought he could suffer alone without anyone else noticing. He had tried to do the one thing that destroyed him. Kaoru had tried to bottle it up. That thought alone made Kyoya want to break down onto the floor.

“Kaoru?” Kyoya asked hesitantly, his own voice filled with the despair and pity he hated so much. His own voice so foreign to him. His footsteps stopping to a halt with his words. His whole body seemingly dead and cold, his arms unable to move.

Kaoru removed his hands from his face, his cheeks covered in dry and wet tears. The skin below his eyes covered with black mascara. His mouth pulled into a box, his lips curling outwards in a way that was completely unappealing. His mouth still sprouting a string of weeps.

“He was never mine. Cheap, fucking, scumbag, commoner. Either wanted my virginity or my fucking money,” Kaoru yelled, his voice laced with a sadness so clean and truthful before turning into a snarl slowly. The words rolling off his tongue with rage, the tears giving away how heart-broken he really was.

The sounds quickly provoking soft anger in Kyoya’s stomach. The pain and sorrow still winning and racking through his bones as he saw Kaoru’s shoulders hunch in forwards. His mind spinning at the sight of Kaoru vulnerable, with every single emotion spreading across his face. It was wrong.

Kaoru was deceiving. He was secretive. He always kept something to himself. He always had something over someone. Nothing was black and white with Kaoru. Everything was cloudy and mistakable with Kaoru.

Kaoru was completely overridden with pride with almost everything he did. He always had his shoulders raised up and his head ready to strike a bitch out of their place.  His eyes were always ready for something, always opened wide. His chest always slightly popping outwards in a way that could be described as arrogance.

Yet, here Kaoru was. His head laid low on his knees, again. His feelings completely open and free. His body succumbed to despair without any effort to keep its dignity. His pride down the plug-hole, swimming into the sewage as if it always belonged there. It was wrong.

“And we both know which one it is,” He added, his voice forcing out a pained chuckle. The so obviously fake sound echoing through the room like a bad omen.

“Money. It’s a terrible thing really,” Kyoya said as he slid down the wall, his body sitting right beside Kaoru’s. Their shoulders touching in a way that was comforting, rather than awkward or cramped.

“Well, I was talking about my hot bod’, but,” Kaoru teased, his voice gaining its usual mischief. Though still laced with sorrow, Kyoya couldn’t help but identify what Kaoru was trying to do. His goal to disguise his pain with jokes, achingly obvious to Kyoya. The thought making his teeth grind uncomfortably.

“Don’t,” Kyoya demanded, the sound stronger than anything he’d said all day. Even when he’d told Tamaki that the ‘turning the club room into the north pole’ was a bad idea. His hand lifting to poke Kaoru’s side lightly, knowing that it’d make him shuffle and remove his head from his hands.

Kaoru looked at him, his face turning truthful again. His cheeks losing their usual puffiness. His eyebrows pushed into a position that had wrinkles at every direction. His teeth visible and clenched tightly, as if he was fighting himself to stop the horrific and harsh wails.

Suddenly, his teeth released from their tight grip as Kaoru swung his arms awkwardly across Kyoya’s shoulders, his head buried in the crook of Kyoya’s shoulders. The wailing sounds quieter with the addition of Kyoya’s shoulders. The purple blazer on Kyoya’s shoulders quickly getting wet and covered it tears and liquid mascara.

Slowly, Kyoya’s arms began to rub along Kaoru’s back, his thumbs circling around. The touches slow and encouraging. His fingers strangely soft against Kaoru’s skin.

“Why are you so good to me?” Kaoru asked between bawls, his nose nuzzling into Kyoya. His voice covered in self-hatred and low self-worth.

Kyoya would do anything to find out where the bloody bastard was, so he could strike him where he stood. His hands momentarily balling into fists before continuing to rub along Kaoru’s spine.

“Why wasn’t he good to you?” Kyoya asked with a sigh, mostly to himself. The thought of someone disliking Kaoru for any aspect of him, seemed impossible to Kyoya. Kaoru was perfect in every single way, and somehow Kyoya wasn’t ashamed to admit the fact.

“How could he? You’re beautiful, you’re strong, you’re smart,” Kyoya trailed off, hearing Kaoru scoff at the ‘strong’ part. His mind feeling light and free with his confession. He’d never realised (before Kaoru) how liberating confessing could be.

Kaoru lifted his head from Kyoya’s shoulder suddenly before shuffling his body between Kyoya’s legs and placing his palms on the sides of Kyoya’s face. His eyes filled with hope and realisation. The water still dripping down his cheeks, and falling from his chin.

Kyoya sighed softly, the fingers on his cheeks soft like candyfloss. The hopeful look on Kaoru’s face making his heart sing and rise for the first time all day.

“Wait for me,” Kaoru told him, his thumbs beginning to rub at Kyoya’s skin. The movement slow and constant, Kyoya’s head moving into them unconsciously.

Kyoya sighed once again, his heart screaming for him to take the opportunity while he had it. Kaoru was vulnerable, Kaoru needed someone. Kyoya could be that person, Kyoya could make him feel better. For a while at least, he could share Kaoru’s pain. He could make him feel love like he never has before. Kyoya could give him everything he ever wanted, everything he ever dreamed for. They could both finally be happy together.

Yet, his mind screamed for him to be a good friend for once. Kaoru didn’t need a lover, he needed a friend. A friend that wouldn’t abandon him, or stop spending time with him once they get a boyfriend. He needed someone solid, someone would be his rock.

Not a messy lover, who would deny the fact that he’s a rebound. Kaoru didn’t want Kyoya, not truthfully. He just wanted someone, in hope that it could replace the other. But, deep down, they both knew it was impossible. Kaoru could never love Kyoya in the state he was, and Kyoya giving him everything, will just make him believe that he’s a shitty human being for not reciprocating.

“I’m not the one you want, or need for that matter,” Kyoya told him, pulling Kaoru tightly into his chest. This was the only situation he’d be able to hold Kaoru like this, this was something he had to take advantage of. He’d go insane otherwise.

“How do you know?” Kaoru mumbled into Kyoya’s shoulder, the breaths burning on Kyoya’s check. The warmth of Kaoru’s body making him feel complete, his eyes shutting tightly in effort to treasure the moment. His heart aching in a way that he didn’t feel was possible. Kyoya didn’t think anything could beat the dragging feeling of getting regretted.

Yet, as they say, it’s harder to say no when the object is in front of you. To have something so close to your reach, so available. To have to say no to something you wanted for so long, hurts like a bitch.

Your whole body aches with it, your body seemingly reaching out for it without your consent. Your limbs squeeze it tightly in a way that makes it clear, it isn’t going anywhere soon. Your eyes shutting so tightly that they look like scrunched lemons, your mind fixed on keeping the image in your head for a lifetime. Your heart pulling and dragging from its fixed point to just get one touch, one compliment your way. Just that one thing from the person you love the most.  

“I just do,”

**Author's Note:**

> I got lazy at the end, sorry.


End file.
